Security Confidential S10 E8 Melissa Thornley

Manoj Tandon: Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Dark Rhino Security: Security Confidential. I’m your host, Manoj Tandon, and today we have an awesome guest joining us, Melissa Thornley. Melissa is a leadership consultant who focuses on using emotional intelligence to drive better results. And we’re going to get into what that exactly means here in a second. But she is a real leader out there. She has years of experience as an advertising and film executive working with companies like McDonald’s, Walgreens, Anheuser-Busch, Nike, Coca-Cola, and PBS, to name a few. She is very passionate, her energy is contagious, and we’re honored to have her on the show. Thank you for joining us today, Melissa.

Melissa Thornley: Manoj, thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Manoj Tandon: Oh, it’s fantastic. It’s great to have a guest that departs a little bit from our regular techie stuff that we talk about. But in saying that, you did start life in tech, right? So how did this happen?

Melissa Thornley: Yeah, I mean, it is kind of funny, and I think about it a lot. Recently, my first big job out of college was working with US Robotics. Do you remember US Robotics?

Manoj Tandon: Oh, I remember US Robotics big time, yes!

Melissa Thornley: Yeah, so last October we had a big reunion. Casey Cowell was there—working at a tech startup in the 90s that was all about the internet, when people really didn’t know about the internet. I mean, remember that. You wouldn’t have had a job.

Manoj Tandon: Yeah. Oh yeah, we had America Online. I remember that. I remember not having email—very much so.

Melissa Thornley: Yeah, bananas. So I worked as a tech writer, and how I ended up becoming a tech writer was that I actually started in tech support. I’m very nerdy, okay? I love technology. I’m a big Samsung user, which is a testament to my nerdiness because almost everybody has an iPhone and I’m all Samsung, right?

Manoj Tandon: Okay? Really?

Melissa Thornley: So you know that I’m a little bit of a tech nerd. In any event, I was on tech support fielding all these calls. Do you remember people actually had to install a modem into their computer or attach it?

Manoj Tandon: Yes they did. Yes.

Melissa Thornley: So we would get calls, and people barely knew how to use computers, let alone anything about communications technology. So I realized, okay, nobody is reading these manuals. We need to do something different.

Manoj Tandon: Yep.

Melissa Thornley: I went over to my manager and said, “Hey, I’ve got this idea. Can we make it more fun? Can we make it a game? I’m picturing something like Monopoly or Sorry.” He looked at me like I was bananas for a second, and then he said, “Melissa, that’s a great idea.” He walked me down the hall to the department that made the packaging and manuals—leadership, by the way. He sponsored me to another department and said, “Melissa has this great idea.” That manager, Kevin McLaughlin, said, “Oh my gosh, we need to do that—and we need a tech writer.” And I was immediately shifted out of tech support into writing.

Manoj Tandon: Wow.

Melissa Thornley: Now, I had a writing background—I was editor of the school paper—so I was prepared for the moment. But the moment did occur. It was serendipity.

Manoj Tandon: Serendipity.

Melissa Thornley: Exactly. After working in tech writing, I switched over to copywriting because I wanted to do something more marketing-facing. Then I decided to take a chance—I left that company and went to film school. While there, I was waiting tables and met a film editor who said, “Why are you getting a second degree? You don’t need it.” He introduced me to his company, and I ended up quitting film school to work at a film editing company.

Manoj Tandon: Wow.

Melissa Thornley: Again, lots of technology. In post-production, you’re dealing with a lot of tech.

Manoj Tandon: So were you working with real film?

Melissa Thornley: Yeah. At that time, we would shoot on film, digitize it, and edit in systems like Avid. Then at the end, we’d work with a film cutter.

Manoj Tandon: Okay.

Melissa Thornley: Eventually, everything became fully digital.

Manoj Tandon: I was just curious—there aren’t many people who remember the cutting room floor as it really was.

Melissa Thornley: It was truly a cutting room floor. Editors would physically cut and splice film together.

Manoj Tandon: Exactly. They were the real storytellers.

Melissa Thornley: I agree 100%. And it’s even more true today because there’s so much more footage. The magic really happens in post.

Manoj Tandon: It does. And side note—if you leave cameras on forever, you’ll burn out the sensors. We learned that the hard way.

Melissa Thornley: Really?

Manoj Tandon: Yeah—early podcast days, cheap equipment. Lesson learned.

Melissa Thornley: I love a good tech tangent. But to answer your earlier question—how I got into leadership—over time, I realized there wasn’t a formal way to learn leadership. You observed it. You knew when it was good or missing, but not how to replicate it. So I decided I wanted to help leaders develop those skills.

Manoj Tandon: I have a lot of questions about that, but let me ask something fun. You mentioned working with Raquel Welch. Any celebrity stories?

Melissa Thornley: We worked on commercials, films, and music videos. One project had David Bowie—I didn’t meet him, but saw a lot of footage. In London, we worked on projects with Madonna. She came into the office daily, but I didn’t meet her. With mega celebrities, they operate in their own orbit.

Manoj Tandon: Makes sense.

Melissa Thornley: But I did work with Anthony Minghella, and he was a wonderful human being. Those kinds of experiences were amazing.

Manoj Tandon: Did any of those people inspire leadership qualities?

Melissa Thornley: Filmmaking is very collaborative. Leadership is distributed—producers enable different creatives to own their piece. It’s about letting experts contribute their strengths.

Manoj Tandon: So is there a formula for leadership?

Melissa Thornley: Yes and no. There are frameworks—like notes in music—but everyone interprets them differently. Leadership styles vary depending on the situation.

Manoj Tandon: Where does emotional intelligence come in?

Melissa Thornley: Emotional intelligence is more than just emotions. It’s about understanding yourself, communicating, managing stress, building resilience, and making decisions.

Manoj Tandon: I always thought emotional intelligence was almost an oxymoron. Emotion often overrides logic.

Melissa Thornley: That’s a great point. But emotions carry intelligence too. The question is how you work with them—not suppress them.

Manoj Tandon: So it’s about managing reactions?

Melissa Thornley: Exactly. And being intentional about how you show up.

Manoj Tandon: That sounds like process.

Melissa Thornley: Yes—systems and self-compassion. You prepare how you want to show up, then adapt.

Manoj Tandon: I’d add gratitude to that.

Melissa Thornley: Absolutely—gratitude and empathy.

Manoj Tandon: In business, people focus too much on results and not enough on process.

Melissa Thornley: You need both—metrics and process. And relationships are critical to achieving results.

Manoj Tandon: I’ve seen that go wrong many times.

Melissa Thornley: Without accountability and reflection, you miss growth opportunities.

Manoj Tandon: Leadership is messy.

Melissa Thornley: It is. You have to be willing to clean up the mess.

Manoj Tandon: How do you tell a leader they’re the problem?

Melissa Thornley: By focusing on results and asking questions. “Are you happy with these results? What are you willing to change?” The leader has to be willing.

Manoj Tandon: That’s powerful.

Melissa Thornley: Willingness is everything.

Manoj Tandon: That was worth the price of admission.

Melissa Thornley: Thank you.

Manoj Tandon: We haven’t even scratched the surface. Before we wrap, where can people find you?

Melissa Thornley: I’m working on a book. The best way to follow me is on my website, melissathornley.com, or LinkedIn. I share articles and updates there.

Manoj Tandon: Awesome. When the book is out, come back.

Melissa Thornley: I’d love that.

Manoj Tandon: Thank you so much, Melissa. It was a pleasure.

Melissa Thornley: Thank you. Absolute pleasure.

Manoj Tandon: Thank you.